How To Make the Perfect Mix Tape.

There’s a skill to making compilations. John Cusack knows it – so should you.

Mix tapes/CD’s, MP3 playlists, whatever form they may take on these days, a music compilation has always been one of my preferred ways to make a personalised gift for a friend. That, or just a good way of copping out of buying the alternative expensive birthday and/or Christmas gift.

With a little love and attention an eclectic mix of your favourite tunes can wind up providing the soundtrack to a summer, becoming the road trip anthems of the year or help somebody find their new favourite artist.

Some may tell you that neither video, nor napster killed the radio star. Their digital-strangle hold only caught a grip after the sinister tracks of the long forgotten, but sorely missed, cassette tape.

Yes, certain somebody’s with a big nose will always be ready to tell you about the woes of the mix tape, and how taping was the downfall of the music industry. With similar arguments going on about file sharing at the moment, I for one am all too glad to bestow the virtues of the mighty mix-tape* in a mixed up digital world.

So without sounding too much, like the ‘with it’ dad who remembers when vinyl was cool ‘the first time’, I’d like to give a very basic formula for replicating the artistry that goes into building the perfect compilation.

Think of a mix of your favourite bands and artists. Now smack them on stage in your favourite venue. Following this imagine some kind of highly contagious zombie virus has conveniently taken hold of the surrounding area.

This will need to have wiped out everybody except you and the bands on stage (who will conveniently be either skilled zombie fighters, or more un-inventively immune). Still with me? Great.

Now since every band you’ve ever loved have despairingly just been left with only one fan, they’ll undoubtedly all want to be as diligently responsive to your every request as they can (for fear that you might release some more potent bubonic zombie plague upon them no doubt). You see what I’ getting at here.

Once you find yourself in this zombie induced, Zen like place you’ll be ready to start flawlessly piecing together your next audio masterwork.

For a set list to really inspire that end of the world party atmosphere it obviously needs to have a killer opener. The same principle works for most albums, what’s going to catch people’s attention?

This generally implies a fairly upbeat number, but keep in mind that a particularly catchy acoustic shot in the dark can often catch a listener off guard and get attention too.

Continuing on this theme, the catchy pop elements such gradually begin to head toward the musical plateau of your middle tracks. Just like any good concert you can only take so much up-beat bopping before some sweaty obnoxious fool in the audience incenses you to try and lob their head of with your next ‘bop’.

Lucky for you the comfort of your home, I hope should provide no similar irritations.

Now, the middle ground needs to be made up of usually no more than two numbers, which slow the pace down some displaying some of the softer, more cuddly aspects of your favourite bands. They should inspire the same feeling as a good cup of tea.

Following this we’ll require another more energetic spurt, think of it as the main course. It needs to be as tasty as the opener, but with more depth. Your listeners’ audio appetite should be well on its way to frenzy point by now so you need to give them something to chew on.

Now we come to the point where the research and theory writers split into two camps; those like to begin wrapping things up with the slower (read ‘depressing’) numbers. And those who like to provide a last minute kick in the ass.

Do you end with the hit single, or the acoustic balled you’ve been crying yourself to sleep with all these nights? As with any art form, there’s seldom a right answer, but I like to think if your cleaver about it you can make room to both, without interrupting the flow of your mix-tape.

Which brings me to my final point. The entire effort needs to have a theme and a flow to it. The greatest albums work as an over all piece as well as individual songs. This is something you need to strive toward.

So once done, declare it a masterstroke and bung on some dodgy homemade artwork, jauntily wrap a bow on it and you’ll be done.

Speaking of which, I’m off to watch High Fidelity. Now make yourselves useful and go spread some musical love.

(*For nostalgic value, I’ve bandied together any kind of new age alternative formats under the much more attractive, if inaccurate catch all “mix-tape”.)